I Think

I think that it is silly for me to try to make significant art during the last 2 weeks of school. I'm way too stressed out and tired to be able to think straight. I need a glass of wine to relax, and that will just put me to sleep. In fact, the only thing keeping me awake right now, honestly? Sheesh. No idea. The feeling that it's too early to go to sleep. Because I have two drawings knocking around in my brain, and I might be able to get one on paper. But I'm not relaxed enough yet. I'm exhausted, but tense. Not a good place.



I don't think I ever put this piece on the web in its entirety. It's called So Deep, So Wide after a Peter Gabriel song, Walking on the Water. It was finished this year, I think. I consider it a post-divorce quilt...it has a calmer feel to it. Although, it's amazing. I talked to a woman today who is where I was about 4 years ago, and it's like PTSD. The stuff she was saying, the inability to understand her husband's behavior. It all comes back to you...at a distance, but still there. Like an ache from an old surgery. It's disturbing. I feel for her. There are too many broken up pieces of people who are remnants of other people's bad relationship decisions. I don't know what causes that...I'd like to stop my children from behaving that way. I don't know if I can.

Yeah, a glass of wine. And early to bed.